Thursday, July 21, 2011

20 Years Ago Today

Twenty years ago today I drove home from my best friend's wedding, alone because my now-husband couldn't get off work.  Going to a wedding alone is on my top ten most depressing ways to spend a weekend.

I immediately went to his house to tell him about the beautiful ceremony and reception, about how our mutual friends were doing, and how much I had missed him during all the slow songs.  He doesn't fast dance with anyone - except, as it turns out, Gracie at the Father-Daughter Dance.  But that was light years away in July of 1991. 

We sat on his couch, channel surfing and talking about Tallahassee, where we met and fell in love.  I think wrestling was on when he suddenly turned to me and said, "I wanted this to be more romantic, but I can't wait.  Will you marry me?"

It was a jolt, because our relationship had been tumultuous.  We were young and dramatic and everything was a big deal.  We thought we had been through a lot by then, which I embarrassed myself with when I chose "Here We Are" by Alabama for our wedding video.  "Now we've made it through the hardest part."  Please.

Of course I said yes.  Of course I did.  I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else.  And of course we had not even touched the tip of the iceberg when it came to drama.  That was one fire, three miscarriages, a gall bladder attack, viral meningitis, three houses, a business' grand opening and sad closing, three c-sections, pneumonia at Disney World, and two Father-Daughter Dances ago.  With so much more in between. 

"Baby, you and I could write a book about love!"

Maybe it was just a premonition.  Maybe it's the only thing that makes sense.  I mean, how long can you really live with another person without any drama?  We've had a lot less than some people.

"We shared it all, you and I.  
Still together after all this time."

One thing that has gotten us through is the laughter.  No matter how bad my day goes, he still makes me laugh.  I can close my eyes and remember the day when the Bear was about six weeks old with true colic.  He cried incessantly.  Our oldest was 22 months and at that stage when he wanted to be picked up and held, and he wanted to know when that baby was going to go back to the hospital.  I had a gotten a staph infection after my c-section and was under strict orders not to lift him, or anything heavier than a gallon of milk.  At one point all three of us were sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor crying as I tried to balance them both on my tender lap and console the boys and myself.  Suddenly my husband walked in, earlier than normal.  He took one look at us and said, "I just dropped by to tell you I have to work late."  

I laughed.  I laughed so hard that my big boy started laughing, and the Bear didn't laugh but he might have stopped crying for a minute.  The tension was broken, and I knew I was going to make it.  To this day, when I'm not sure how much I can take, it still works.  No matter how dark things look, I know we'll get through it together. 

"We're stronger now than we have ever been.  
We're hand in hand, we're heart to heart. we are."

I love you, Babe.  We'll get through it.  I'd do it all again in a minute.  YES!


  1. Aww, I'm all teary eyed over my oatmeal, of course it doesn't take much these days, what a great post! It is definitely the laughter that makes it all work. Everything is harder when we take ourselves too seriously.

  2. Such a great post! It made me so happy!

  3. Awww. Thar was so eloquent, touching and very sweet...

  4. That's true love and you're each others soulmates.


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