I was no stranger to miscarriage. We had said goodbye to two babies before our sons arrived, and I was actively involved with SHARE Atlanta, a local pregnancy and newborn loss support group. With their love and encouragement, we were able to acknowledge and remember Jacob in a completely different way than the shell shocked mourning for his siblings.
One thing I have found is that certain dates roll around and remind me, no matter how busy I am or how far I've moved along. This year is no exception; last week I was asked to participate in a public service announcement for The March of Dimes and SHARE Atlanta. It was kind of last minute, and we were asked to bring mementos of our children. I quickly grabbed a journal with cards and poems tucked inside as I ran out the door, hesitated, then pulled the snowflake quilt off the wall.
During the taping, I showed my friends this quilt and explained that it had been a guild challenge. The theme was "Snowflakes - No Two Alike". At the time it was announced, I immediately knew what I would do. In the SHARE Atlanta groups, we have often compared our children to snowflakes - each one tiny and precious, unique and irreplaceable, and too quickly gone. It's hard to see from the photo, but the large snowflakes on this quilt are really pictures of my three living children scanned and printed onto silk. I don't have pictures of the tiny babies we have lost, so I found a picture online of a baby at 8 weeks gestation, which is when things really went wrong for me each time.
I love this quilt because it is just one of the quiet ways I remember those children who helped mold me into the mother I am today. It's not loud or in your face; no one but me really knows the meaning behind the three extra little snowflakes. This is quilt therapy in its purest form for me.
So this past Sunday, the secret got out. The show aired and, of course, we had no idea which two minutes of the two hour taping would make it onto the screen. I smiled to myself, thrilled that both the snowflake quilt and another quilt I did years ago for SHARE Atlanta were a part of the story.
You can watch the video here:
Happy birthday, Jacob! Mama loves you!
You can walk with or donate to the SHARE Atlanta team, or find a local team to support.